Facepalm relationship!
by taroQueen
Summary: Bree is having a hard time being split in two between her best friend(Kim) and her amazing boyfriend(Jack),who have been doing nothing but constantly fighting. Their hate-ship is so ridiculous at times that it just makes people around them want to facepalm themselves. Now in order to get Bree back, they have to do the impossible - get along! Rated M for cursing. TRAILER in chapt. 1


**CHAPTER FIRST**

"I'm telling you Bree, you deserve so much better!" Kim crossed her feet and turned on her stomach, as she tried to catch the tan she never ever had. Poor thing was born and raised with the palest vampire skin in the family, which often led to people asking her the question she hated the most 'Are you feeling okay?'. So Bree as a good friend suggested they should try sun baths and make it a thing. The blonde hopefully agreed, but deep inside she knew there was no point. Any time she tried to catch some tan she usually burned, even with the sun cream or oil.

Bree rolled her eyes with a deep loud sigh. "Here we go again!"

"I'm serious, Bree! I honestly I can't even realize what do you like about him? I mean he's not the smartest guy in the room…" Kim whispered with her hand covering the side of her face 'let's be honest'. "… He's not even that pretty!"

"KIM!" Her friend exclaimed, as she rose a bit from her place. "Now you're just being a child! You can't mean that!" Her cheeks flamed in rosy colors. "He is the prettiest guy I've ever met. I don't even think YOU know someone who looks better than him!" Kim ignored the fact that her best friend started defending his looks, instead of his brains… As a matter of a fact she would note it in billions of hilarious ways, if she didn't feel the need to contradict her right away.

"Of course, I do!" The words came out stronger, than she preferred.

"Like who?" Bree shot at the girl, and sat up so that she could have a better glance at her struggling to think of a name. Well, what she didn't expect was to hear a direct response that contained not one, but a whole bunch of names.

"Jerry, Milton, Eddie, Rudy, Adam, Chase, Brett, Leo…"

"Leo?" Kim was interrupted. "You can't just include all the boys that you know." Bree scowled.

"Of course, I can!" The protest came out with a frown, and then was followed by a smirk. "Every single boy that I know is better looking than this a Severus Snape wannabe! Even Severus Snape is prettier than him!" The only thing Kim hated more than the question 'Are you feeling okay?' was Jack Brewer. There was not a boyfriend that Bree had dated, which the blonde hadn't approved. Except for this individual. She couldn't specify the reason why he was so dislikable to her. There were just so many things about him that she genuinely despised. Though, the main problem was that according to Kim, Brewer was trying to take away her childhood best friend. And that wasn't entirely a lie, of course. But then again, according to Jack, the annoying girl was trying to make him and his amazing girlfriend split up. Which also wasn't an entirely lie.

Truth was that if there were things like soulmates in the world, the two of them would be considered exactly the opposite - mortal enemies would suit them better.

"Are you jealous of Bree, Kim?" She jumped in surprise as she felt someone's breath in her ear, just to see that someone smirking at her expression. Her insides were probably shrinking from the fury that was arising in her, right now, but of course Kim'd rather be dead, than admit or accidently show it to this jerk. Instead, she just kept her cool and took a big sip of oxygen. She needed it!

"You mean feeling sorry for her? Yes, I do!" Her chin raised. So many things came to her mind at this moment. But she liked to wait for the perfect moment, when all she said would make a difference. Her eyes studied him with pure hostility. Jack wore his usual ripped jeans, that were about to fall off of his tights. It was ridiculous how they never did. A blue and black square plaid shirt covered his white tank top, and a beanie… Wait, what? "Seriously? A hat?" Kim snorted a laugh. "It's like 500 degrees…"

"Do you even know how hot 500 degrees is?" Jack interrupted, doubting in her intelligence as always.

"Okay, stop it!" Unintentionally, the two frenemies looked at the only creature on this planet, who would still tolerate their crap, at the same time. ""Jack, get over here and leave Kim alone! Kim, stop responding to him! And most of all, both of you, stop trying to make each other look bad in front of me." Kim, immediately, went silent and looked down at her lab as if she was embarrassed of herself. She wasn't, of course. But she cared deeply for her friend. As for Jack, he too followed Bree's orders – not so silently, though.

"Sorry, sweetheart!" Jack apologized before he kneeled down and kissed her lips just for a second. A quick kiss as an apology. Bree scowled. She loved long deep passionate kisses. Her friend on the other hand, even though she felt sick at the view, she did find adorable how Jack usually turned to the brunette. She wished someone would turn to her like that. Well, not him, of course – that would be gross. "You are right about her, though. I should leave her alone. She doesn't look so good, anyways. Think there's something off about her. Perhaps, she's ill."

Kim didn't even feel her eyes narrowing at the point it was hard to see, anymore. She couldn't see her friend rolling hers, but she could definitely hear her heavy sigh. "Don't. You. Dare." She roared in as much as spite she could put in her voice.

And for those moments Jack lived. For the pure satisfaction of stepping on this girl's nerves. It was like he was walking on a rope, but much more pleasant. A slight evil mischievous smirk covered his face, but really just his eyes were giving away everything. And his next move was equal to committing a suicide. "Are you sure you're feeling okay, Kimmy?"

 _Feeling okay? KIMMY?_ That crossed every line of decency they had between them.

"Jack!" But until Bree voiced his name, it was too late. Kim crossed the distance between the dead man and her in a jump. He couldn't even process when did she give up from her towel and threw herself on him. He didn't even process the punch he had taken in the nose, which cause his beanie to fall off, or the hair pulling that followed. But as soon as he realized the happening, he caught her hands that were now shrank in fists, probably getting ready to attack again. Of course, she had feet, too. And she sure knew how to use them in a situation like this. Her knee flew up his tights and hit him in the most sensitive spot in his body. The boy could not help himself. She squeezed his eyes, and freed the girl from his grip. Okay, maybe it was not a good idea to question her that. Or call her Kimmy. Ever! The so called pleasure of getting to her was probably not worth this hell of a pain.

He fell on his knees and could almost feel tears threatening to fall out.

"GUYS! Stop! Please!" Poor Bree was subjected on full ignore. No one listened. And no one cared to.

Jack caught his breath, trying to calm himself down. But was her really going to let it all go? He was going to be taken by a girl? Not a girl. KIM? Her looked up and found out with a surprise that she had turned around giving him her back. What now? Kim thought she had taken care of him? Or she thought he wasn't worthy of her attention? As the seconds went by, he felt his pain was slowly backing away, which helped think clearly.

He quickly got an idea, but at first, he believed it wasn't appropriate, but then he remember the bitch had just kicked him in the balls, and he'd be damned if he'd let her take away his pride and humiliate him like this. His hand reached for her top part of her bathing suit and before she could react, Jack untied it, leaving it to fall down and leaving her… exposed. Topless. For anyone in the park to see. It was obvious to them both without even checking that they had gathered a lot of curious looks.

Bree gasped. She didn't know what to do. Yell at Kim for hurting her boyfriend like that. Or yell at Jack for doing this to her best friend. Or yell at both of them. Or help Kim cover herself as quickly as possible. The last one seemed the most reasonable, but as she reached for her own shirt to hand, Kim had snapped. Embarrassment, shame and rage were turning her cheeks in tomatoes. She turned around quickly and intended to bereave him from the right of having unbroken bone in his body. Imagine her shock as she instead of attacking him, lost balance and fell… on top of him… topless. Two pair of eyes, wild open, starring at each other in disbelief. Now that was quite the show.

Bree, shocked as she was, got up and pushed a boy over, who had taken his phone out, filming the whole fiasco. She hurried to cover Kim's back and helped her stand up, trying her best to keep her body between the blonde's bare naked breasts and the people's eyes.

As soon as Kim put her clothes on, she turned to Jack and glared him with the deadliest, dirtiest look she'd ever provided someone with. "You, Jack Brewer, are a dead man!" And with that she left the park. She wasn't even in condition to thank her best friend, even though she mentally noted to herself to make sure she does that later.

"She's insane! She's totally out of her goddamn mind, Bree! She wanted to kill me over some stupid joke. Can you imagine?" Jack complained, gladly accepting the fact that he was getting some help with getting back on his feet and fixing his clothes. "She's mental! How can you be friends with her?"

"You both went too far! She shouldn't have attacking you like this, but why would you take her bathing suit off? Do you even know what that means for a girl? Everyone will probably slut-shame her. And why would you even challenge her on the first place. You know she hates being asked this question. And calling her Kimmy? Really, Jack? Really?" Bree didn't even know where to begin from.

"For God's sake, it was just a joke!" He exclaimed. "She really needs to get checked up! Going completely mental over some stupid question…"

"You don't understand, Jack!" Bree interrupted. "You wouldn't understand! I've grew up with her. And we all have something we've been fighting with or trying to cover up. This is her complex since she was a little girl. Kim used to be mocked over her paleness and ever since she's been trying nothing, but to fix it."

"She doesn't seem like the person to care what people think of her. So I don't buy it!" Jack was definitive.

"She doesn't care about others. She just doesn't like this part of herself and she has been fighting with it for a long time." It was difficult to explain such thing. Kim was complicated, sometimes, Bree knew that for sure. But she also knew that this was just part of the reason why Kim got so upset with him. She genuinely didn't like him. So she liked showing that. And any chance he had given her, Kim would take advantage of. It was almost as if they were feeding of their fights. They enjoyed it. But no one seemed to had noticed, unless Bree. Not even them.

"You can't deny, though, that it was hilarious when she…" He started with a laugh, but as soon as the girl next to him eyed him, warningly he didn't dare to finish the sentence. Although, he was just not ready to let this go. "C'mon, you have to admit! It was funny!"

Jack looked at his girlfriend, barely holding his half-smile not to crack into a giggle. Bree picturized the moment in her head all over again, and the laugh just got the better of her. She couldn't help it. "See, I knew it!" Jack concluded, happily.

"Okay!" She admitted. "It was a little bit of funny, but that's not okay! You shouldn't have done this!" Scolded him.

"But it was funny!" He repeated, but as soon as he heard his girlfriend's next words, his smile vanished so quickly like it was never there.

"Until she fell on you! That wasn't funny. Right, Jack?"

"Of course not, sweetheart!" Bree heard him saying. Was she jealous? She couldn't tell. And this was because she wasn't sure of whom she had to be jealous. Sometimes she had no doubts they hated each other. But sometimes as she watched them, she remembered the line between love and hate was far too fine for her to not be worried. And the worst part of all was that sometimes she wasn't sure if they wouldn't cross it and if they were – who would be the first to dare.

"Wait a minute!" Jack sit on Bree's towel with a thoughtful expression. "She fell on top of me."

"Yes?"

"She fell on top of me?" He repeated still thoughtfully.

"Yes, Jack, I heard you the first time!" His girlfriend assured him sarcastically.

"Topless!" Jack looked down at his chest. "She fell on the top of me, topless!"

"Your point, Jackson?!" Bree asked with a frown.

"I get it now! She wanted to seduce me! Kimberly is totally into me!" He quickly stood up with light in his eyes. "Oh, that piece of crap! She would do that to her best friend!" Jack turned to look at Bree, who was already scowling at him as if this was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. She had her doubts in the two of them, but this theory was just stupid.

"Of course, Bree! That explains everything! Why she was acting like she hates me. Kimberly just played 'hard to get' the whole time!"

"Alright, hold your breath, Sherlock Holmes!" Bree started. She was already so sick of their act. They were both with the brain capacity of a four year olds. Honestly, as she thought about it, she wanted it to be over. Too long the girl had been taking the role of the balancer. She even preferred them to get together than keep listening and standing this ridiculous situation! How crazy was that? She was so tired of them. So emotionally exhausted. Right now, she even realized, they were starting to be toxic to her. She needed some time off of them both. She didn't care how or for how long – even couple of days would do. _What's wrong with you, Bree?_ – she thought. Great. From the time she'd spent with them, she was already going crazy.

Her mental cogitation prevented her from noticing that Jack was already gone. And this was a big concern. Who knows what was he about to do, now? And even worse. Who knows what would Kim do to him back?

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' it or Lab rats. I just use the characters and create an alternative story!**

 **Hi, everyone! =) This piece of work came to me out of the blue. I was literally just having some random irrelevant conversation with a friend and suddenly I was like "Heyyy, I got an idea!" xD Now, I wasn't sure if people would like it, so I decided to put this story on a test. This first chapter** **is** **the test! You shall have the last word if it should pass or fail! xD So let me know if you'd like me to develop this. I made a trailer so that you could have a better look on what should you expect from this. There's a link to it: -**

 **watch?v=_RFz06DvKOQ**

 **Oh, by the way… Please pm me if you would like me to see an interesting original story of yours. =) I have a lot of free time, lately! Don't hesitate! I mean all fandoms are welcome!**


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